Craigslist seller translated to english

[Runfromcheney]

IDK if this is the right section or not, so if you don't think this fits here you can feel free to move it.

 

Anyways, I decided that I want to get back into the world of the W-body and have been scouring Craigslist for another Cutty. Naturally since these are two decade old cars being sold out of someone's driveway in the ghetto, there are a lot of instances where the seller seems to sugarcoat, you could say, some of the story around the car and some of its issues. I decided to start this thread to see what other examples the users here can pull up or see/have seen scouring their local CL for their next W-project. Here are a few examples I have found since I have began the search for my next W:

 

http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/cto/3239582519.html

 

Craigslist seller: "... it runs and drives but needs tlc it got cought up in crossfire so it has a few holes in it...

English: "Car was involved in gang activity, heat from the Fuzz forces sale. Fuck tha police, man!"

 

http://http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/cto/3242251981.html

Craigslist seller: "Runs but Stall after a bit. Don't know whats wrong with it."

English: "You have to two-foot her to get her to even move. I have driven it with a bad ICM for two years and have fouled and carboned the fuck out of the engine."

 

Craigslist seller: "The AC comes out hot. I have the stuff to recharge it just don't have the tool to do it."

English: "The AC compressor is bad."

 

Craigslist seller: "Currently Flex piped because the Cadillac Converter was clogged. Still have the Cadillac Converter(will go with the car.)"

English: "Driving around so long with a misfiring, carboned-up engine, I clogged up the cat and blew it out. And since I obviously know absolutely nothing about cars, I didn't realize that a $10 junkyard part and an hour of my time could have fixed everything."

 

Craigslist seller: "Also, Have 3 decent tires. One is currently on a donut but I have a 4th tire that I need to put on a rim."

English: "While driving drunk one night I smacked the curb and blew out my RF rim."

 

Craigslist seller: "Would probably be best for someone looking to Scrap or looking for a fixer upper."

English: "The scrapyard offered me $300 for it, so I threw on here to see if some moron would be willing to give me more than its worth."

Craigslist seller: "It gets me to work and back every day no problem."

English: "Car has stranded me in the ghetto multiple times. The last straw came last week, when some guy named Big Poppa beat my ass and took my wallet while I was waiting for a tow truck."

 

Craigslist seller: "It Just doesnt like expressways or anything over 40 really."

English: "Transmission is stuck in 2nd."

 

http://http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/cto/3238869901.html

Craigslist seller: "Must sell."

English: "Rear spot welds are giving out, forcing sale." (look closely at the second pic)

 

http://http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/cto/3214300212.html

Craigslist seller: "You have to drive with two feet to keep running at idle"

English: "Vehicle stalls when put into gear."

 

Craigslist seller: "Stabilizer arms are missing from rear. Has worn lower engine mount"

English: "Rear corners are rotted hollow and the trailing arms are one pothole away from scraping the pavement, but I think the plastic body cladding hides this pretty well. Also, the engine cradle is getting ready to drop."

 

Craigslist seller: "We have been driving this car for a year with two feet and without the rear stabilizer arms, six years with the worn lower engine mount."

English: "We took this rolling deathtrap in for an oil change only to be informed by the technician that it has apocalyptic structural rust. We immediately drove it home and posted this ad."

 

Craigslist seller: "Engine and trans. seem to run strong and car drives fairly well."

English: "Buy me and pluck my drivetrain."

 

Craigslist seller: "196,000 mi"

English: "Or not."

 

http://http://detroit.craigslist.org/okl/cto/3164949421.html

Craigslist seller: "it does run and it does stop you just have to really press on the brake petal, other then that the car is GREAT."

English: Brake line blew out, not worth fixing. Trying to see if there is anyone dumb enough to give me more than scrap value for this piece."

 

 

What ones do you have?

 

[Night Fury]

Lol epic. I'd say most of us have developed a translator in our head for this stuff

[Andrew]

this needs to be moved to the 'Craigslist gold' thread

[Runfromcheney]

http://limaohio.craigslist.org/cto/3219454917.html

 

Craigslist seller: "imlooking to trade more then sell but if the cash is rite ill sell it im lookin for acura,honda things along those lines"

English: All the chicks at my high school and all my friends who drive riced-out Neons keep telling me that my worn-out 22 year old Oldsmobile is whack, even though I put on alloys, boom-booms and upgraded the interior with trim and parts from a lower down model sold mainly to rental fleets. So I decided to see if someone is gullible enough to trade me their modded Acura Integra for this Frankenstein piece of shit. All offers will be considered."