iluvhockey Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 I have to admit it, but I cheated on my one true love, my 95 SE 3.1L. And now I am afraid that I might be forced to pay for it. She has been nothing but kind to me, while we travelled the world together over the course of over 300,000 odometer ticks, one by one we made our way along. In return, I pampered my true love with yearly transmission services, coolant flushes, and tune-ups. Other than a few sets of brake pads and a couple of headlights, she hasn't even made me change her fragile signal light switch. She has been the greatest indeed. Then another female came into my life, this time the human kind. I just could not help myself. I tried to live with these two old girls together at the same time, and did my best for them both to get along. It became clear from the start, however, that the two of them were going to have a tumultuous relationship. This has truly broken my heart, and I am afraid that I might lose one of them. It began one day when I sent the two of them out together for the first time, just to feel each other out and get to know one another. Upon their return, it was relayed to me that my 95's inner door handle had broken. I took it as a sign of growing pains and just the fact that my two ladies just needed some time to get to know each other a little better. A week later, my old girl's seat belts refused to retract properly for me. I began wondering if these two were ever going to get along. And a few days ago, my beloved 95 placed the temperature gauge into the dangerous range right in front of me, and I wondered if perhaps it was time to accept the fact that I might not be able to have two women in my life at the same time. With a hot lower and a cold upper rad hose, I stroked my 95 for a few minutes while inserting my fresh new thermostat into her housing. All the while telling her it was going to be alright, that she was the one I truly loved. She did not believe me, and continued to insist on having hot flashes. After removing the bypass hose from the pipe with her engine running, she showed me that coolant was no longer flowing through her system. Although no noise was present, I believed she was telling me that the water pump inside her had given up the ghost, and needed a transplant. I obliged her, yet she still did not show sign of happiness. She insisted upon raising her temp gauge until I could take no more of the insanity and shut her down for the day. Not even coaxing her precious bubbles from the tender cooling system seemed to make her happy. After removing both rad hoses from the radiator, I gave her a 25 minute massage both backwards and forwards in a frantic attempt to free up her clogged arteries so we could spend just a little more precious time together. This appeared at first to make her happy, as the cholesterol in her radiator veins seemed to break free and allow the passage of coolant. Yet she still was preturbed, insisted on raising her temp gauge, and still no coolant would flow through to her new thermostat. I am saddened by my first love's new attitude, yet in a way I have deserved it. I never should have allowed another woman to come into our lives. In a last ditch effort, I will buy my love a new radiator for her birthday, and flush her engine block like no one has ever done before. It is the least I could do for her. I only hope it isn't too late to salvage our relationship. If we do make it through this together, I will promise her one thing: The other woman gets to have a crappy old Ford from here on out to pick on. I am truly sorry baby.....really I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCGUY112887 Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Best post ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GP1138 Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 :lol: Best post of 2007!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19Cutlass94 Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 LOLOLOL Thats awesome! :lol: Best post of 2007!! you gotta sticky this as Best Post of 2007 or something!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SigEpCutlass Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 :lol: Best post of 2007!! Not sure how much that says considering the year just began. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terryk2003 Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 AWWWWSOME!...good luck with her!...unfortunatly, it may be that dreaded intake gasket failure time (if you havent looked into that yet, you may want to)... ...Great Post! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSI_MuNkY Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Who is this guy?? 1 post and I like him already! its funny... cause he just described the last year (and 27 days) of my life Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Fury Z Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 "I stroked my 95 for a few minutes while inserting my fresh new thermostat into her housing." that screams sig! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Moff Joseph Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Wow, now THAT's how you introduce yourself to a new board! Welcome! Have a seat on our W-body therapy couch...the Doc will be in to see you shortly. /who's the Doc? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R Dubya Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian P Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 *head explodes* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bri-Guy-GA Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Wow some post. Think I need a shower now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
97loudcut Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Yeah I am going to go rub one off after hearing the thermostat part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FordBoy Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Yeah I am going to go rub one off after hearing the thermostat part. wow some1 really loves his W Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mach 5 Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Welcome. By the way, become a writer cuz this is the best post ever. -As for the cooling system. Try a new water pump and check the oil for coolant as it may need an intake gasket. I'd check to see if the radiator holds pressure before replacing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Euro Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 didnt think it was THAT funny...... and welcome aboard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonteCarloDude Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 welcome. wow, awsome post, good luck with her i cant stand to see the death of a nice w-body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iluvhockey Posted January 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Thanks felllas, I appreciate all the support for my transgressions in cheating on my first love. Perhaps I should make a correction to my confessional. When I inserted my thermostat into her housing, it was rubberized. You know what they say, safety first. Even though we have been together for years and have no reason to doubt each other...... Mach 5: Yes, after inserting my rubberized thermostat into her rear end, I then took her on from the front side and slid in a clean water pump into the chute. There was still no juices flowing through her, as one would expect to have gotten a reaction when sliding it in through the front. I have taken the radiator out of her, and have taken it to the hospital. I am awaiting news from the doctor to see if the surgery performed on it will be a success, or if a transplant will be necessary to possibly save her life. Apparently if we do require a transplant, the waiting list is short and we can get her a new organ within 24 hours. Thank goodness many nice people have signed their donor cards, and we might not have to let her suffer for much longer. I have broken the news to my mistress that I will no longer allow her to spend any more time with my true love. Having the two of them not get along is more than my heart can bear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FordBoy Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Wow dude you are a good writer. Do you have any pics? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terryk2003 Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Wow dude you are a good writer. Do you have any pics? pics of both loves?... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marchi1 Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Wow, quite the literary poet. It makes me ponder the influence of his female counterpart upon the mechanical one? Perhaps there is lvoe lost in both directions? To thee I bid, best post thus far this year, and best of luck geting your first love in shape again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShockTherapy Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Wow dude you are a good writer. Do you have any pics? pics of both loves?... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonteCarloDude Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 x2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mach 5 Posted January 9, 2007 Report Share Posted January 9, 2007 x3 Isn't it a must that new members put a pic of their car up? -Glad to here you replaced the water pump. Just get the rest up and running and bleed it right or she'll overheat. Heres a tip: to make the job easier, drill a 1/32nd sized hole on the edge of the thermostat. The air will bleed right out while the water will not pass through. this will only make your job easier and not harm the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Euro Posted January 9, 2007 Report Share Posted January 9, 2007 pics or ban Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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