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Boy do my fucking feet hurt.


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Posted

I dropped by a local stealership this afternoon to pick up a couple of small parts for my grandma's car and I spied the crown jewel of GM's 1995 lineup at the end of the used car row, a Z34 Monte Carlo.

 

Now, of course I'm interested...I'm gonna take a look, regardless of buying it or not. What I shouldn't have done is taken it for a test drive.

 

Yes folks, even as I preach the hate, hellfire & damnation about the 3.4 DOHC, there's something about a car with one in it that just brings a little bit of pee to the end of my urethera when I'm rolling along in one at about 20-30 mph and let the car do it's thing when the pedal hits cheaply pressed GM metal.

 

As luck would have it, it was on sale. A mechanic's special, I believe the salesman called it. There wasn't anything really wrong, until you got closer, kinda like a 20 footer at a car show. The center console lid's hinges were broken, the drivers' side window wouldn't roll down, the seat belt guide on the same side was broken, the door panel's fake velour trim was peeling away from the door panel...

 

But none of that mattered once I got out on the road...well, nothing I could see mattered. I found an onramp to the interstate and had at it. Full throttle, at the bottom of the ramp brought a little bit of wheelspin, and second gear brought a very audible chirp from the tires, as well as a slight attempt to move the car over one lane to the left.

 

The revs are building in second gear, "I'm not even at full throttle", I think to myself and then *POP*...bzzzzzzzzzzz..........silence. I coast the car off to the right side of the interstate, not more than an eighth of a mile past the entrance ramp...I get out, knowing what it is, immediatly..I look under the front of the car, and the answer I need shows itself...no oil...it's gotta be the timing belt.

 

Folks, walking three and a half miles back to a car dealership is not fun. No one wants to stop and help a 6'2", 275lb guy, even in broad daylight, carrying a dealer tag off the car he just blew up. I've got time here to think about how these things are like bad crack. How much I hate my shoes. How much I'd really like to have a bike right about now. I casually stroll up to the showroom, and the salesman comes out...

 

"Where's the car?"

 

Between wheezes, I throw a thumb over my shoulder and say "Back that way, about three or so miles up on the interstate, just north of exit 14...you guys might want to check that timing belt on it"

I hop into the wife's car and drive off, thinking that my physical exhertion was worth it, on some level today....

 

I think to myself, as I listen to the squealing of the A/C compressor... I've saved someone from buying a 3.4 with a bad timing belt...again. lol crusader.

Posted

:shock: omg...that would have to suck...but that story is freakin hillarious :willynilly: :smilielol:

Posted

thats awesome :lol: but it sucks you had to walk that far but at least ya had fun while it lasted :lol:

Posted

Well, they wanted 4200 for it before it died. I didn't stick around for a quote afterwards. I had blisters to nurse. :lol:

Posted

hrm I would wounder if they would fix it and try to sell it again.

 

All and all, I love 3.4 DOHC's...

Posted

:lol:

 

 

Surely, when the day comes that I trade in my car for whatever reasons, the next car won't have an LQ1 if I'm buying used.

Posted

You are a warrior and a hero!! :lol: What would the rest of us do without people like you breaking the very things that we may be just about stupid enough to seriously consider buying? Keep up the good work :thumbsup:

 

Curlybandit

Posted
All and all, I love 3.4 DOHC's...

 

I do too, but it's like fucking hookers & doing lines off their tits. Sooner or later, something bad's going to happen.

Posted

Ya wuss, I'm forced to walk 3.5 miles every thursday. welcome to the life that is highschool PE. :x :lol:

 

Anyway, sounds like the 3.4 TDC really isn't a bad engine :wink: what did the dealer say after it broke? anything?

Posted
All and all, I love 3.4 DOHC's...

 

I do too, but it's like fucking hookers & doing lines off their tits. Sooner or later, something bad's going to happen.

 

Pussy :lol:

Posted
Its a 95, so it should have some valve damage right

 

Nope 96+ was considered interference, but sometimes the valves will hit.

 

That's great though, I can't believe they wanted $4200 for a "mechanics special!"

Posted
Its a 95, so it should have some valve damage right

 

Nope 96+ was considered interference, but sometimes the valves will hit.

 

That's great though, I can't believe they wanted $4200 for a "mechanics special!"

 

And even then they don't always hit if the timing belt snaps.

Guest TurboSedan
Posted

hrmmm this isn't really a race story....

 

great story nonetheless :thumbsup:

Posted
:lol: I'm surprised this dealer's reaction to your exploits wasn't the same as the dealer that your other 3.4 DOHC adventure occurred at. :lol:
Posted

Reminds me of the time I was testing a 91 cutty 4 door international loaded and I mean loaded leather sunroof hud dic. everything but the 3.4... and the fuel pump went out during the test drive lucky somone Driving by when I was in the car had a phone and called the dealer... they sent a tow Truck.

 

I went back the next day and wanted the car but he said he had to split the cost of the fuel pump with me if I bought it.

 

I offered 2500 for it before the test drive.

this was in 1996 so it was a good deal.

 

Needless to say I wasnt going to pay $200 more for a car that

Posted
hrmmm this isn't really a race story....

 

great story nonetheless :thumbsup:

 

It was a desperate race, to beat the car's new owner to the dealership..he would have made a tragic mistake & now, after toiling & sweating, I have succeeded...so...I WIN...no, wait..HE WINS!!!!!...err..whatever. :lol:

Posted

so is test driving ratty LQ1s a good method of excersise? figgre you blow up 1 LQ1 every week or 2 how much weight would you loose?

Posted

Damnit... couldn't you have done that to my Z?

 

Mine died within 8000 miles of buying it.

Posted
so is test driving ratty LQ1s a good method of excersise? figgre you blow up 1 LQ1 every week or 2 how much weight would you loose?

 

Not much...remember, they'd have to get me a mile or more away from the dealership to be of any benefit to me. :lol:

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